Building trust with your horse, one deposit at a time
- Lauren Fraser, MSc, FFCP
- Jun 6, 2020
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 12
When you train your horse, are you making deposits in the trust bank account, or withdrawals?
Many horses I see are running a balance in the red. Susan Friedman, PhD, was the first person I heard describe our relationships with animals this way, and it's a useful lens through which to view every interaction we have with our horses.
The principle is straightforward:
When we set training up so the horse can succeed, and avoid causing pain, fear, or high levels of stress, we make deposits.
When training causes pain, fear, or stress, we make withdrawals.
How to get a horse to trust you
Contrary to what some trainers or horse training home study kits may claim, you can't make a horse trust you. You can only show yourself to be trustworthy. Trust can't be forced, manufactured, or proven on demand. Instead, the horse needs to decide for themselves, through repeated, positive, and predictable experiences, that you are worth trusting.
Training methods that promise to make a horse trust you typically rely on escalating pressure or flooding to achieve their goals. These approaches make withdrawals. And unfortunately for the horse, they appear to work. Horses will often comply and behave as the trainer wants, but not for the reasons the trainer believes. The horse isn't trusting them. The horse is simply stressed or frightened, and the only relief available is to escape the pressure being applied.
Learning goes both ways
Trailer loading is a common example. When a trainer uses escalating pressure to get a reluctant horse into a trailer, the horse eventually enters. Not because they trust the trainer, but because getting into the trailer is the only way to make the pressure stop.
This is basic learning theory, and it applies to all animals, horses and humans alike. Behaviour followed by a pleasant consequence is more likely to be repeated. Behaviour followed by an unpleasant consequence is less likely to be repeated. Pleasant consequences reinforce behaviour. Unpleasant consequences punish it.
What's rarely discussed is that this cuts both ways in the trailer loading scenario. For the trainer, the horse entering the trailer is a pleasant consequence. Their use of escalating pressure has been reinforced, and they'll use it again. For the horse, the trainer's escalating pressure was the unpleasant consequence for hesitating, so they'll be less likely to hesitate next time. The trainer walks away believing they've built trust. The horse walks away having learned that this person is someone who creates pressure they need to escape.
That isn't trust. It's compliance born from discomfort, and it comes at a cost to the relationship that doesn't show up until the balance is already in the red.
Sometimes a human example can help illustrate how such approaches might feel. Let's say I wanted you to trust me, and you were afraid of heights. I could take you rock climbing and coerce, threaten, or punish you whenever you hesitated, too afraid to reach for the next hold. You might make it to the top. But would you be doing so out of trust in me, or fear of what would happen if you didn't comply? And would you ever truly feel safe with me again?
How to really build trust with your horse
So how do you become worth trusting? Start by setting training up so that your horse can succeed, breaking goals down into small, achievable steps they can perform with confidence. Use reinforcement-based techniques and avoid punishment. Train at a pace dictated by your horse, not your schedule, watching for any signs of fear, anxiety, or stress and adjusting accordingly. And be patient. Trust can't be rushed or forced, and some horses need considerably more time than others, particularly those carrying a history of too many withdrawals made by previous handlers and trainers. Such a history is not our fault, but rebuilding that balance can be a responsibility we can choose to take on. Honour it, and the trust account will take care of itself.
Rebuilding trust with your horse is possible, no matter how depleted the account. If you'd like support along the way, click below to find out how I can help. I work online with horse owners worldwide.
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